The Rape of Frankenstein's Monster
I WAS involved in a rape. Please forgive me if I am hard to understand. I am still re-learning how to speak this language and there are times when I cannot find the right words for what it is I see in my head.
I was walking home from the movies. I was minding my own business when a large group of women surrounded me. They forced me into a dimly lit alley and stripped the clothes from my body. I was not aroused but my body betrayed me. There are parts of my body I still cannot control very well. During the middle of the ordeal I thought for a moment I was going to die. Again.
I let the women do as they pleased with my body. I passed out due to the sheer terror. I went directly to the police station afterwards and told them what happened. They took me into custody. I spent the night trying to convince the officers I was the victim of a crime. Meanwhile the women who assaulted me decided to turn themselves in. Because of my history and how people feel about me I decided to drop the charges against the women. I was released immediately. But the public action was carried out anyway.
The hearings ended. The court initially sentenced the women to two years of imprisonment according to the Penal Code § 85-1. Then the court simultaneously suspended the sentences according to the Penal Code § 51-1. For reasons I don't fully understand the court also ruled for three years of inspection of my person, according to the Penal Code § 51-4, and then adjudicated the proceedings of inspection according to the Penal Code § 51-6. An obscure precedent allowed the court to find me guilty of a form of incitement. I spent the inspection period of three years with good conduct following the effective date of the verdict. I had been deemed to execute my punishment as of June the year before last. In addition, after five years from the effective date of the verdict the sentence is to be dropped from my personal criminal record.
Additionally, in my application to the Consulate General of this country I have also declared this incident in response to a similar question regarding imprisonment. My petition for citizenship was denied on these grounds. I am aware that at some point in the near future I must return to my homeland. But the future is disappearing before my eyes. I had dreams of pursuing a career in litigation. Part of my mind seems to have an aptitude for the vagaries of the law. I don't know why this is. I assume it has nothing to do with me. Maybe these are not my dreams. They could be the dreams of the various men who were used to make me. As I said, I have little to no control over a good portion of my body. The only control I think I may have is the ability to end myself, or this jumble of parts that make up myself. At this point I think this may be an inevitability. I do not see a future for myself. Some people may think I am despairing in my outlook but I am not. There are some advantages to knowing your time is at hand. For instance, the closer I get to the end of it all the more and more compassion I feel for my fellow man. I find that more than ever I am willing to try and understand why people do what they do. This seems to me a very pleasant sensation.
A result of my new found ability to empathize with others is that I am starting to care less and less about myself, which is probably for the best, considering what I am about to do. Or maybe these are not even my own morbid thoughts. Perhaps this kind of self-pity was an attribute of one or several of the men I am composed of. What I am saying is that I am easily confused by myself. It is very hard for me to understand where I start and the others out of who I have become an I stop. It is also hard for me to understand this language. I sometimes cannot see it in my head. This language will not remain solid for me. I think I have a firm grasp on the words and then they crumble like a clod of dirt in my hands. Perhaps I shouldn't squeeze so hard. But then again, these are not my hands. <>
Chris Okum lives in Los Angelas